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ExpatPundit

"Five axiomatic propositions of Canadian Nationalism vis-a-vis the Americans:

1. Boy, we hate Americans.

2. We really do.

3. Really.

4. I'm not kidding. We really hate them.

5. So how come they never pay us any attention?"

--Will Ferguson, Why I Hate Canadians, Vancouver: Douglas & McIntyre, 1997, p.105.





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Tuesday, June 04, 2002

Petition Update. The "Suicide Bombing -- A Crime Against Humanity" petition is up to nearly 51,000 signatures and is currently the #1 petition at PetitionOnline, which apparently indicates that it is gaining signatures at a faster rate than any other petition.
Finally, a petition that Damian will like! Damian Penny is not happy about Fox's impending cancellation of Futurama. Luckily for him, there is a petition at PetitionsOnline to save Futurama. In fact, there are two separate petitions, offering two levels of intensity of viewer complaint, so that Damian can choose whichever is more appropriate given his personal preferences:

"A Future for Futurama" -- more than 132,000 signatures!:

We are signing this petition in response to the fact that Futurama has sadly been cancelled. We are huge fans of the show and rarely miss an episode, the show has given us much happiness and joy and we have enjoyed watching it improve and grow stronger through the years....

Futurama is, in our opinion one of the most innovative, clever, funny and entertaining shows on TV and we feel very upset at the thought of it being cancelled. The show needs to continue because there are many plots within the show which would be left unfinished if it ended now.

Recently, Season One was released on DVD, every single DVD magazine gave Futurama high scores for its content and entertainment value. This was later backed up by the public who managed to put it at number 3 in the DVD sales charts. If you continued to make the show then you would be able to make huge profits from DVD sales....

Please rethink.

Or, if the above petition is too measured and calm for your taste, try:

"Save Futurama" -- 2756 signatures:

We are avid watchers of FOX programming, especially the show “Futurama”. We have recently heard that FOX Broadcasting has cancelled this show. We are informing you of a boycott of FOX Broadcasting, FX, FOX Sports Channel, and all products shown on FOX Broadcasting, FX, and FOX Sports Channel. We are all willing to comply with the boycott and do whatever it takes to get our favorite FOX show (“Futurama”) back on the air.

What about Rupert Murdoch's other media properties?

We will not only be boycotting your stations, we will be boycotting every product shown on those stations. These products include, but are not limited to: Nyquil, Schick, Valvoline, Gold Bond, Subway Sandwiches, Buick Motor Vehicles, Alka-Seltzer, Monistat 7, Diflucan, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), Heartguard, Frontline, any product on TimeLife.com, Ranger Bass Boats, The Xtractor, any product made by MGM, 1-800-COLLECT, Hunt’s Manwich, any product made by Reeses’, any product made by Walt Disney, and Gevalia coffee and coffee makers.

This isn't as difficult as it sounds. If you boycott the KFC, Subway Sandwiches, and Hunt's Manwich, you won't need the Alka-Seltzer. But good luck avoiding any product made by Walt Disney. (I guess ABC is off limits, too.)

As you can see, we are taking this cancellation very seriously.

Yes. Very very seriously.

Which one will it be for Damian?
We're in the money! I have received excellent news! The widow of President Mobutut Sese-Seko of Zaire is trying to launder $18,000,000 US, and I have the chance to help her. And I'll get to make a tidy profit in the process!

I know, I know, there's a long-running scam involving supposed millions of dollars stashed away in Nigeria. But this is the Congo, not Nigeria, so I am sure it's legit.

FROM:MRS. M SESE-SEKO

DEAR FRIEND,

I AM MRS. SESE-SEKO WIDOW OF LATE PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO OF ZAIRE? NOW KNOWN AS DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC
OF CONGO (DRC). I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER, THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING MY PRESENT
CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION.

I ESCAPED ALONG WITH MY HUSBAND AND TWO OF OUR SONS THOMAS AND BASHER OUT OF DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF
CONGO (DRC) TO ABIDJAN, COTE D'IVOIRE WHERE MY FAMILY AND I SETTLED, WHILE WE LATER MOVED TO SETTLED IN
MORROCO WHERE MY HUSBAND LATER DIED OF CANCER DISEASE.

HOWEVER DUE TO THIS SITUATION WE DECIDED TO CHANGED MOST OF MY HUSBAND'S BILLIONS OF DOLLARS DEPOSITED IN SWISS BANK AND OTHER COUNTRIES INTO OTHER FORMS OF MONEY CODED FOR SAFE PURPOSE BECAUSE THE NEW HEAD OF STATE OF (DR) MR LAURENT KABILA HAS MADE ARRANGEMENT WITH THE SWISS GOVERNMENT AND OTHER EUROPEAN COUNTRIES TO FREEZE ALL MY LATE HUSBAND'S
TREASURES DEPOSITED IN SOME EUROPEAN COUNTRIES. HENCE MY CHILDREN AND I DECIDED LAYING LOW IN AFRICA TO STUDY THE SITUATION TILL WHEN THINGS GETS BETTER, LIKE NOW THAT PRESIDENT KABILA IS DEAD AND THE SON TAKING OVER (JOSEPH KABILA).

ONE OF MY LATE HUSBAND'S CHATEAUX IN SOUTHERN FRANCE WAS CONFISCATED BY THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT, AND AS SUCH I HAD TO CHANGE MY IDENTITY SO THAT MY INVESTMENT WILL NOT BE TRACED AND CONFISCATED.

I HAVE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF EIHGTEEN MLLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS(US$18,000,000,00.) WITH A SECURITY COMPANY , FOR SAFEKEEPING. THE FUNDS ARE SECURITY CODED TO PREVENT THEM FROM KNOWING THE CONTENT. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO INDICATE YOUR INTEREST THAT YOU WILL ASSIST US BY RECEIVING THE MONEY ON OUR BEHALF.ACKNOWLEDGE THIS MESSAGE, SO THAT I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO MY SON ( THOMAS) WHO HAS THE OUT MODALITIES FOR THE CLAIM OF THE SAID FUNDS. I WANT YOU TO ASSIST IN INVESTING THIS MONEY, BUT I WILL
NOT WANT MY IDENTITY REVEALED.

I WILL ALSO WANT TO BUY PROPERTIES AND STOCK IN MULTI-NATIONAL COMPANIES AND TO ENGAGE IN OTHER SAFE AND NON-SPECULATIVE
INVESTMENTS. MAY I AT THIS POINT EMPHASISE THE HIGH LEVEL OF CONFIDENTIALITY, WHICH THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS, AND HOPE YOU WILL NOT BETRAY THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE, WHICH I REPOSE IN YOU.

IN CONCLUSION, IF YOU WANT TO ASSIST US , MY SON SHALL PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE OF THE BUSINESS, TELL YOU WHERE THE FUNDS
ARE CURRENTLY BEING MAINTAINED AND ALSO DISCUSS OTHER MODALITIES INCLUDING REMUNERATION FOR YOUR SERVICES.

FOR THIS REASON KINDLY FURNISH US YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION, THAT IS YOUR PERSONAL TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER FOR CONFIDENTIAL PURPOSE AND ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL USING THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS.

BEST REGARDS,

MRS M. SESE SEKO

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