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"Five axiomatic propositions of Canadian Nationalism vis-a-vis the Americans:

1. Boy, we hate Americans.

2. We really do.

3. Really.

4. I'm not kidding. We really hate them.

5. So how come they never pay us any attention?"

--Will Ferguson, Why I Hate Canadians, Vancouver: Douglas & McIntyre, 1997, p.105.


Monday, June 03, 2002

Just when the Loonie was rebounding... The Canadian dollar reached a nine-month high against the greenback on Friday. So that naturally triggered Canadian government action to send it back down. Yesterday Prime Minister-for-Life Jean Chretien fired his Finance Minister, Paul Martin, in order to stall Martin's attempts to put pressure on Chretien to step down and let Martin -- who has been in the on-deck circle for 12 years now -- become Prime Minister.

Chretien explained, "It was threatening to impede our focus on the very important choices that confront us as a nation." As opposed to, say, the umpteen instances of cronyism and corruption that have been uncovered this year, and that have resulted in exactly one other dismissal.
The Queen is on Mel's side. Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman took a lot of grief earlier this year for welcoming Hells Angels to Toronto with a hearty handshake. The biker gang was in town, if you recall, to celebrate its expansion of drug running into the Greater Toronto Area. Mel explained his faux pas by saying that he 1) didn't know they were involved in illegal activity and 2) was scared. Torontonians were not amused.

But perhaps Torontonians -- or at least the monarchists here -- should reconsider. After all, a group of Hells Angels led by "Snob" will be leading Queen Elizabeth's jubilee procession tomorrow. Here's the line that Mel Lastman should have used:

"We are well aware of the reputation of the Hells Angels both in Europe and North America," a spokeswoman for Buckingham Palace said yesterday.

"However, we have been assured that those taking part in the parade have no criminal backgrounds as far as we know."

Snob offers his views on the honor here.

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