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"Five axiomatic propositions of Canadian Nationalism vis-a-vis the Americans:

1. Boy, we hate Americans.

2. We really do.

3. Really.

4. I'm not kidding. We really hate them.

5. So how come they never pay us any attention?"

--Will Ferguson, Why I Hate Canadians, Vancouver: Douglas & McIntyre, 1997, p.105.


Saturday, March 16, 2002

I'm kind of miffed that I'm not on this list. This may be old hat to many of you, but I've just come across a Web site that aspires to be the Zagat's of lame personal Web sites: Losers. You know them. You've seen them on the street. You've seen them in the office. You've seen them at family reunions. Now they're on the Internet. And LOSERS dot ORG is your guide. The sites are searchable by category (bloggers are "journalists") or by how bad they are, in the opinion of the guy who runs Yes, I feel guilty about enjoying this site -- especially when I find something like this from an aggrieved "4-L." But then the "5-L" page leads to something like this, and...well, what can I say?
New contest: Why can't Prince Abdullah meet with the Israelis about his peace plan? Crown Prince Abdullah gave an interview yesterday to CNN in which he held forth on his many insights into U.S.-Middle East relations. After warning the U.S. that it shouldn't go after Saddam Hussein, Abdullah discussed his brand-new, exciting peace plan of which he is so keen:

Abdullah said he will present his proposal to the Arab League, and if the Arab countries go along, the Arab nations will make the proposal to the United Nations.

Asked about Israeli offers to meet with Saudi officials publicly or privately to discuss the proposal, Abdullah said such a meeting would not be possible at the present time.

CNN apparently didn't follow up by asking why Abdullah believes that a meeting between Israeli and Saudi officials would be impossible. So I'd like to propose a few possible reasons that Abdullah might give:

1. "I'd love to, but I'm washing my hair tonight. And every night for the next month."
2. "Right now I'm all tied up planning an intimate family gathering for about 2,500 of my closest royal relatives."
3. "I can't meet with the Israelis until they demonstrate the same respect for basic human rights that we do."
4. "I want to wait until well after Purim and Passover, to reduce the likelihood that they'll kill me and use my blood in their holiday treats." [see Special Dispatch #354; thanks to Charles Johnson and Andrew Sullivan]

Other suggestions?

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